Old?

I have heard from many friends that they sort of freaked out when they hit or were about to reach the dreaded 3-0. To me though, when it was time to turn thirty it didn't seem like a very big deal. I had 2 kids, a whole lot of adult responsibility and it seemed like I should be 30(does that make sense?). I sort of felt like...

"Bring on 30, I can take it".

However my birthday is tomorrow and I will be turning 35!!

How did this happen?

I just can't wrap my brain around it! Why is 35 so bad? I am not sure. I don't think there is any logical reason to be freaking out, but here I sit and it's 10:26pm and I desperately want the clock to stop ticking. I don't want to go quietly into the night, because when I wake up, I'm 35!!!
When I climbed into the car on Sunday after 3 hours of church, I glanced in the mirror to see how I had held up and I noticed how much older I look than 5 years ago. Where did my youthful glow go?(Ok, that's a little over dramatic, but I do look older.) Time just marches on.
As we all have to face a birthday each year and are helpless before Father Time and his cruelty, my mom's word can offer comfort. She sent me a fabulous birthday email this week. I share some of it's wisdom with you

"You don’t need to measure and think what have I done with my life already? Have I done enough? Am I enough? Instead of measuring, you just get to dig down deep and live with joy. That is the joy of this moment, the joy of this every day task, the joy of the laughter of your little children. This moment is what you have—nothing else—and if you worry about past moments or future ones, you’ve lost the moment that you are in.
With this glorious passage of time, you also don’t have to stop and measure if you are good enough, if you are OK. You come to finally see that you are not really on the line, that you never were.

I always feel like I wouldn’t go back even one day for every one has brought me treasures and lessons and chiseled its meaning on my soul.

I promise that each year gets better and better because our insides become more and more filled with peace and joy as we come to see what truly is. Life is quite the journey. Travel lightly."

Those last 2 sentences are my very favorite. Travel lightly. I think I like them so much because at this moment I am weighed down with the knowledge that I will be a whole year older in a matter of hours.
Isn't that silly though? Really I will only be one day older. The continents aren't going to have shifted in the morning. The sun will not rise from the West. Life will be about the same tomorrow as it is today. So, I will travel lightly.(and maybe do some relaxation breathing to calm down, so I can get some shut-eye.)